If there’s one year that has cemented itself in Sally Thompson’s memory, it’s 1989. That year both she and her cousin Stella found lumps in their breasts. Sally’s doctor immediately carried out a biopsy, which determined that hers was benign. Stella, too, breathed a sigh of relief when her doctor gave the all-clear—the lump didn’t even warrant a biopsy. 

Five months later, Stella was critically ill. What her doctor had thought was an innocuous lump had in fact been malignant, and the cancer was aggressive. By the time she began receiving treatment, tumours had spread through her body and it was soon clear that nothing could be done to save the mother of three. 

Sally was distraught. “In her last months, when I visited Stella up at Matilda International Hospital, all she worried about was her children, and finding professional people to talk to them and help them deal with what was happening,” she recalls. 

When Stella fell into a coma and the end was nigh, the Thompsons took her three young children to the hospital to be by their mother’s side. On the way there, Stella’s son asked Sally a question she didn’t know how to answer. “He asked, ‘Is mummy going to die today?’ I said, ‘Yes, she is, darling.’ And then he asked, ‘Well, how am I going to say goodbye?’”

Sally did her best to advise and comfort the boy but felt her words were hopelessly inadequate. “You think you’d know what to say in a situation like that, but I realised I really didn’t have the right tools to give him. I had no professional counselling training.”

Sally decided to find someone who could help the children cope with their grief. As soon as they arrived at the hospital she made inquiries, and within a matter of hours she was put in touch with a Catholic nun named Helen Kenny. An American who had trained in palliative care in the US, she was a pioneer of the hospice movement in Hong Kong and was in the midst of starting the city’s first specialist facility, the Bradbury Hospice in Sha Tin, which has since come under the umbrella of the Hospital Authority. 

“The hospice movement didn’t come here until the ’80s,” notes Jim, the founder of the Crown Worldwide Group. “Death is such a taboo subject in Chinese culture that I don’t think it is something that would have ever caught on naturally.”

To Sally, Helen seemed heaven-sent. She arrived in the darkest hour and took control in the warmest of ways, leading everyone through their goodbyes and helping them make sense of their tremendous loss. “She was absolutely wonderful,” says Sally. “She became a mother to all of us. By the time Stella died that night, everyone was peaceful and able to cope with it. I just thought it was the most remarkable and wonderful service.”

The next day, Sally took Helen aside to thank her for her extraordinary help. The nun, who would receive the Hong Kong Humanity Award in 2009 for her contribution to the hospice movement, told Sally about the impending Bradbury Hospice. “I asked Helen if she was looking for volunteers,” Sally recalls. “She said she was, so I asked to be her first.”

That was in 1990. Since then, the Thompsons have been avid proponents of the hospice movement—a philosophy of care that focuses not only on the medicinal relief (also known as palliation) of symptoms for people with incurable illnesses, but also on providing emotional and spiritual support for patients and their families. 

“Hospice workers help with pain medicine, but most of all they help families come to terms with very difficult realities,” says Sally, a warm, effervescent mother of two. “I can tell you that no matter how old you are, you want your mummy when you are saying goodbye to someone you love. You want a comforting figure who is in control because you are absolutely all over the place. Hospice workers like Helen are angels who come in all shapes and forms, and are taught to help you get through the hardest times of your life.”

The Thompsons’ support for hospice care has manifested in two decades of financial and practical aid to the Society for the Promotion of Hospice Care (SPHC). As a non-profit organisation, it works to improve palliative care training for healthcare workers, provides bereavement counselling and educates the public about the importance of end-of-life care. “We are much indebted to Jim and Sally,” says SPHC executive director Joey Tang. “Their kindness and passion have encouraged many others to step in to help us.” 

Jim has his own very personal reasons for supporting the cause; his mother, father and brother-in-law all passed away in hospice care in the US. When his father was alive, he relished trips back to California, where he would while away the hours with his old man. “They were joyous conversations. When you come to the realisation that he’s not there anymore and you can’t do that, you get kind of broken up and you need a bit of counselling. All families need that, and this is one of the things that hospice workers learn how to do. Training goes beyond the medical side and goes to the emotional side.” 

Both Jim and Sally have taken charge of different fundraisers over their many years working with the SPHC. The famously athletic Jim leads the annual Hike for Hospice, a trek on New Territories trails that takes place on a Sunday morning every March. This year, 500 trekkers raised more than HK$4 million—a record for the event—thanks to vigorous corporate support from Goldman Sachs. “When the hike finishes, we serve everybody cold drinks and the most delicious curry lunch. Some people just come for the curry,” says Jim. Asked if it’s a special Thompson recipe, he laughs and says: “No, no—they wouldn’t come for that!”

The highlight of Sally’s year is Light Up a Life—an annual concert of Christmas carols she organises at St John’s Cathedral. This year the merriment takes place on December 2 and features performances by Hong Kong’s Welsh Male Voice Choir and the Island School orchestra and choir, followed by mulled wine and mince pies in the cathedral’s courtyard. The guest speaker will be hairstylist Kim Robinson, who will share his experience of a family member dealing with cancer. 

Sally is particularly passionate about the Tree of Life—a giant Christmas tree in the cathedral that is decorated with messages of love. People in the congregation can remember their loved ones by writing messages on cards, which are then attached to the tree, along with a donation to the SPHC. “By doing this we remember those we have lost in a happy way and celebrate life,” she says. “It really has become my favourite night of the year. It’s not a sad evening—it’s a happy, uplifting evening.” 

Light Up a Life tickets are HK$200, with the money raised going towards the day-to-day activities of the SPHC, as well as the fitting out and operation of a new hospice being built in Sha Tin by the Jockey Club. The new facility will provide a comfortable and homely setting for those with terminal illnesses to spend quality time with their families while having access to 24-hour professional care. Its spacious layout and facilities will enable it to operate without any limitation on visiting hours. 

Jim, who recently won a push-up contest against host Sean Lee-Davies on the TV series Tycoon Talk, says he’s not quite as good at carol singing as he is at callisthenics. “I kind of lip-synch the Christmas carols. If you sing in a large group, you can’t tell how bad you are,” he confesses with a laugh. “But it really is the most beautiful evening. Sally gives her heart and soul to it.”  

The full story originally appeared in the December 2014 issue of Hong Kong Tatler