Do you shake hands, do a double air kiss, or go for a full Japanese bow? In our international world, the etiquette of greeting someone is a social minefield. We speak to two etiquette experts to discover how to keep dignity intact
Ever thought back to one of your more awkward introductions and felt a hot flush of shame? Lean in for a kiss when they are going for a handshake and you end up with their fist in your waist. Aim for a hug when they wanted to peck your cheek and you might end up with an accidental kiss on the lips.
The pitfalls of greeting etiquette are getting ever more complicated in our ultra-connected world, where French, Chinese, American and Malaysian businesspeople get together for a week of meetings and have absolutely no idea how to say hello. "It's definitely pretty hard to remember," says AI expert Stephanie Sy. "Whenever I travel for work, I always feel like I'm about to mess up. I know the rules at home in Manila, but anywhere else—particularly in Europe—and I'm lost."
If you’ve made some of these embarrassing mistakes, you’re not alone. And it’s not your fault—this stuff is hard. Two Frenchwomen working in fashion are going to greet each other with a double air kiss. Two American bankers will shake hands. Two Japanese businessmen might bow with respect. But what happens if you work across industries and countries? We’ve spoken to two etiquette experts to get some answers.
When it comes to etiquette, there is no greater source than Debrett’s—an authority on how to behave in polite society since 1769. Founded in London, it has spent three centuries providing the people of Britain with invaluable advice. Hence why we turned to Jo Bryant, a long-time Debrett’s contributor and the editor of some of its recent guides, for advice.
We also spoke to Agnes Ho of Singapore’s Etiquette and Image International Company, which specialises in different greetings from around Asia, in both business and social situations. She is an introduction guru, who knows how to shake hands in either the Middle Eastern or Western way (the Arab way is gentler and longer than the tight grips of the US), when to do a namaste in India or a wai in Thailand (and when not to) and more.
The Industry
Media is more relaxed than management. Art is more air kiss than acquisitions. This we know. But what to do if you’re greeting the director of a publishing company or a top art buyer? “The safest option is just to go with a handshake,” says Bryant. “It’s the most usual greeting when meeting someone, and when saying goodbye, whether they’re male or female. Some artistic and creative industries are definitely more ‘kissy’ but for formal business, social kissing is inappropritate. If in doubt professionally, always begin with a handshake.”
How do we greet that colleague or person we follow on social media but have never actually met – two air kisses? One kiss and a weird half-hug? If you’re worried, stick out your hand with confidence. Nobody can misconstrue that.