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Arts 3 Reasons Dating In Hong Kong Is A Challenge

3 Reasons Dating In Hong Kong Is A Challenge

3 Reasons Dating In Hong Kong Is A Challenge
By Ariadna Peretz
May 11, 2018
When it comes to business in Hong Kong, everything seems possible but when it comes to love, relationships, and dating—it can often feel impossible. From my vantage point as a matchmaker, there are three main reasons:

1/3 Hong Kong is always on fast-forward


The world knows what happens in a New York minute but you and I know what goes on in a Hong Kong second—the city never stops.

Think about all the evening conference calls, early morning gym sessions, networking events, happy hours, working lunches (and a few champagne brunches)—and let's not even get started on how much time you spend at HKIA and on flights.

(Did you know Hongkongers make the most international trips per year? The average Hongkonger makes 11 international trips per year with Luxembourg ranking second with 2.56.)

See also: A Guide To Finding Your Soulmate

You can’t meet, let alone get to know a potential significant other if you’re run ragged from your non-stop schedule. Dating takes time and presence and unfortunately, Hongkongers are low on these resources.

2/3 Everyone in Hong Kong is ambitious to a fault


I'd never met so many driven people in my life until I moved to Hong Kong. I’m always so impressed when people tell me about all the things they’ve accomplished (both on a personal and professional level), but there is a dark side to this ambition.

We’re so focused on what we can achieve, could have, and ideally be, that we’re not satisfied with who we are, what we have achieved, and already have. By discounting our past achievements, we don’t do ourselves justice. And by always being focused on the future, we may keep delaying or postponing our love lives until we’ve achieved the next milestone.

See also: Meet Asia's Top 50 Bachelors 

3/3 With ambition comes expectations


Hong Kong is all about the PBO (pending better offer). We’re always aiming for an upgrade, or at least reaching out for something novel. When we do that consistently, it becomes difficult to accept and enjoy what we have right here, even though it’s not perfect.

This attitude is perfectly fine with objects (who doesn’t want to get the new iPhone X) but it’s self-sabotage in the context of people. Remember, there is no perfect match.

The perfection in a relationship comes from sharing similar core values and the effort, time, and presence you nourish it with. The behavioural economist, Dan Ariely, has a great video on this subject (watch it here).

Hong Kong has its fair share of challenges and obstacles when it comes to dating, relationships, and love, but don’t let that discourage you. In my next column, I'll be sharing tips on how to maximise the online dating experience.

Ariadna Peretz is the founder of Maitre D'ate, a matchmaking agency for Hong Kong singles who want to fall in love. She also offers date concierge services, coaching, and online dating support.

See also: Love, Factually: In Conversation With Gray & Farrar


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