Financial stress can impact overall well-being so it's important, particularly amidst the busy-ness of year end, to take time to reflect on our relationship with money. One way is to have a money date with yourself—this Wealth With Sophia column shares how
The holidays are fast-approaching, which means we are all in a perpetual state of busy-ness. Yet, as we celebrate, connect and nurture our relationships with family and friends this holiday season, there is one relationship we need to prioritise above all. And that is the one we have with ourselves—and our money.
When it comes to our well-being, we tend to think about mental, emotional and physical well-being. Yet, money stress has a significant impact on women’s mental health. Our financial well-being is a key pillar of our overall well-being. Good financial well-being supports the other ‘well-beings’, so it’s essential that we learn to think differently about prioritising our mindset, our financial goals and living the lives that we want to live.
Finding financial well-being
Are you feeling confident when you receive your salary, knowing that you are sticking to your budget with enough left to save and invest? Check. Are you clear on your financial goals and moving towards achieving those? Check again. Are you navigating life’s many unforeseen surprises with ease? Check, check, check.
How do you feel about your life when you’re able to plan and achieve your financial goals? Probably confident, inspired, empowered and ready to live your best life. Achieving a sense of financial well-being means that we need to commit to cultivating our mindsets, reflecting on our principles, goals and values as well as committing to key actions to create the lives that we want to live. Now, the million-dollar question: How?
Let’s go on a date ... with ourselves
As women, we often struggle to create and manage wealth. Let’s face it: much of the time our own financial well-being priorities drop off our never-ending to-do lists entirely. But, getting back on track doesn’t have to be stressful or demotivating. We can do this with intention, purpose and more importantly, with self-care in mind.
It’s important to have empowering money dates with others, but having one with yourself is just as key, though it may require a few extra steps. Here is a guide to having an empowering and action-focused money date:
1. Set the scene
It is really important to make sure you are in a distraction-free location: no mobile phone calls, alerts or any possible interruptions from friends or family. Easier said than done, but your future self will thank you for it. Bring some paper and a pen. Then, set an intention for this precious time with yourself. It could simply be: to feel empowered in my financial life.
2. Reflect on the money moves you made this year
Any self-reflection needs to start with where you are and what you’ve accomplished. Often, we tell ourselves a myth that we need to always be making big ‘money moves’. However, this way of thinking quickly becomes unsustainable, and worse, overwhelming, which then leads us to falling short of achieving our goals. We need to start thinking about the small steps we have made. Let’s recognise that those ‘micro-steps' are bringing us closer to our goals because they help us become consistent and set us up with the confidence to tackle larger goals. A micro-step could be having coffee with a more experienced investor or picking up a great investing book. Checking what investments are being made in your pension, or taking a short financial education course are great micro-steps. Even Googling one financial term is a great habit to develop. Each of these ‘micro’ actions should be recognised and celebrated.
3. Start dreaming and get drawing
Sometimes we all need a creative way to help us think about our dreams and how we can realistically achieve them. There’s an exercise in the mentoring I do for women that I call the Three Visions exercise. I’ve adapted it from the book Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-lived, Joyful Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans.
Start off by drawing the first vision: your life right now. This is your family life, your work life and your personal development. Draw it all. Next, draw the second vision: this vision is your life without any financial constraints and it’s your chance to dream big. Lastly, draw the third vision: the version of your life where you are creating realistic pathways to get from vision one to vision two. What realistic financial goals do you need to have to achieve that life? This exercise gives you clarity on what is important to you. It helps you articulate your long-term goals as well as connecting those to your short and medium-term goals in a realistic and inspiring way.
4. Focus on the micro-steps
Use your ‘vision three life’ drawing and list down the first 3-5 micro-steps you need to take to get your plans in place. Again, it could be as simple as setting up a calendar entry each week to check-in with yourself on your money goals.
5. Keep yourself accountable and commit
Find ways to keep yourself accountable. It might be telling your friends and family about your money dates so they can support you on this journey. Or, it could be something you do before a “reward” such as time in the gym or a wine night.
Always remind yourself of the ‘why’ behind these money dates: you are worth prioritising. You are the star of your own movie. With tools, support, inspiration and regular money dates, you can set yourself on the path to living your best life.