Mention “Greyhound” and most fashion-savvy Bangkok residents will immediately think of the mega fashion brand, therefore it makes sense that the first international outpost of this fashionable café is in IFC, one of Hong Kong’s chicest shopping malls. Located where the old Starbucks and more recently the pop-up Pizza Express was, Greyhound Café is small, seating less than a hundred guests. Grey wooden floors, eclectic light fixtures and anthropomorphised animals bedeck the tiled walls. It is a happening restaurant as the city’s fashionistas and gourmands alike flock to check out the scene.The menu at Greyhound Café is wide and varied, including not only traditional Thai classics such as pomelo salad and tom yum goong soup and European dishes such as burgers, but also a hybrid between the two, for example the signature spaghetti with Thai anchovy. Such a large menu doesn’t breed confidence as it seems unlikely that any kitchen can excel in so many areas. But we plough ahead with starters of pomelo salad, signature chicken wings and the “complicated noodle”. The pomelo salad is small, especially for HK$88, consisting of little more than two segments of pomelo with dried fish on top. The chicken wings are similarly scrawny and tastes primarily of salt, without any spice or tang to give it a kick. The “complicated noodle” is the most successful, composed of a pile of cold rice noodle squares, pork sauce, a garlicky fish sauce, stems of coriander and half a head of lettuce. The idea is DIY, and it is telling that the most delicious dish so far was one we had to make ourselves. Mains are similarly inconsistent: the signature spaghetti with Thai anchovy verges on inedibly salty, as well as oily and dry. While it is hard to tell what is so rock and roll about the wagyu Elvis burger, at least it is flavourful and juicy, which makes it the best dish of the night. If we were to return to Greyhound Café, we’d probably stick to the dessert section. Both the mango sticky rice parfait with coconut sherbet and the triple chocolate cake are delicious. The traditional Thai dessert is given a makeover with sherbet that tastes exactly like a baby coconut rather than of the usual cloying coconut essence, while the chocolate dessert with fudge, cake and mousse is also delectable.The wine selection at Greyhound Café is limited with only two whites, two reds and a sparkling wine by the glass. The list is fairly predictable with a large percentage from the new world. Price ranges from HK$295 to HK$575 per bottle. The staff are not particularly informed about the wine selection, nor are guests allowed to sample the wines before ordering, not even if deciding between two wines by the glass.As one of the most buzzed about restaurants in Hong Kong at the moment, Greyhound Café is packed and the staff quite simply overwhelmed. This is evident from the start, where a scrum surrounds the reception desk and the hostess is unable to respond to the guests in an orderly manner, or even ask them to line up. Once seated, waiters rush around frantically with many near head-on collisions just avoided. Their attention is hard to get and orders forgotten. The manager did offer us free desserts to make up for the poor service, but the damage has already been done and no dessert, no matter how delicious or free, can make up for it.A meal for two with one glass of wine, four starters, two mains and two desserts comes to about HK$800. Considering the tiny portions and the hectic atmosphere, this is expensive even for IFC.