An Elite Matchmaker's 5 Tips For Finding Your Soulmate
November 1, 2017 | BY Claire Sweetingham
Based in Mayfair, London, Gray & Farrar is one of the most exclusive matchmaking services in the world, pairing up wealthy and eligible singles in London, Paris, Monaco, Brussels, Geneva, Zurich, Hong Kong, Singapore, Los Angeles and New York.
Their standard service starts at £15,000 while their bespoke service is based solely on application—should you be in the market for love, read on for their five top tips on finding your soulmate:
Don’t let algorithms select your perfect partner
Aside from the very real security risks that are prevalent on many internet dating sites, the biggest drawback to using such tools to find love is the way the matches are selected. Over the 30-plus years that we have been matchmaking at Gray & Farrar, it has become abundantly clear that the right partner might be a year outside an ideal age bracket, or based in Singapore instead of Hong Kong.
Be as broad as possible with the criteria you select, otherwise, you could miss the perfect opportunity to meet the right one.
Don’t make judgements
In today’s digital age, it is commonplace to research and analyse anyone and everyone that we meet—whether through their Facebook profile, Instagram or corporate biography. Through these technologies, we make assumptions about how successful or organised someone is, or how attractive they are.
We are fast losing the art of real human interaction, and this limits our chances of success in meeting the right person.
Slow down and take stock
With the meteoric rise of social media over the past 15 years, we now live in a society which more and more expects instant gratification. How often have you been irritated when someone hasn’t replied to an email within five minutes; or you can see that they have read your Whatsapp message but haven’t responded yet? Let alone what happens if you are in a coffee shop without Wi-Fi!
This has nurtured a global frustration towards response times and the need to access information instantly, and I can now see that having an impact on dating across the world. So, if he or she hasn’t responded to a message within 30 seconds, don’t fall into the trap of thinking they are not interested; pause a little before deciding to cast them aside.
The grass is not always greener
Divorce rates are at their highest, marriage rates are at their lowest and people in their 20s and 30s are marrying far later in life. One explanation could be that internet dating has created a “sweetie shop” effect, with thousands and thousands of supposedly single people available to us all at the mere touch of a button. Gone are the days when you would “fall” in love with someone, slowly getting to know someone to build the bedrock of trust and friendship that should sit behind the initial attraction.
We are now impatient, and if that first date isn’t 100 per cent right, we quickly move on to the next because we can and because it’s easy. Clearly, you should never compromise on who you spend your life with, but I do believe we should slow down and focus on getting to know someone, rather than expecting instant perfection.
Keep communication human
Technology is not a substitute for good old human interaction. Singletons often fall into the trap of sending endless Whatsapp messages to each other before even meeting for the first time, and it is commonplace now to judge someone on the strength of their humour or style within these messages.
Just meet! Use technology to organise to meet face to face as quickly as possible and let natural communication unfold from there.
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