Are you worried about another festive season under the mistletoe alone? Calling all the eligible bachelors and single ladies, if you're looking for a special someone to bring in the new year with, elite matchmaker Claire Sweetingham of Gray & Farrar may have some expert advice to stop you being lonely this Christmas.
The key to finding the right, sustainable, and happy and healthy relationship means never having to compromise on the important things, such as values, moral compass and intellectual/educational parity. It’s also vital to ensure that you both have the same goals in life, so be sure to have this conversation early in the relationship. Opposites most certainly do not attract in the long term.
Don’t Leave It To Fate
In this technological and consumer age, we all have incredibly busy, jet-setting lives, and during the very little free time we do have, we simply want to recharge our batteries and see those closest to us. The right person is not going to come and knock on your door, so be proactive.
I spend my entire life listening to why relationships fail and the recurring theme is that people are not being honest about all elements of their character, whether that’s a woman underplaying her accomplishments for fear of scaring men off or a man being untruthful about his feelings for fear of being viewed as “soft.” Transparency is the key and is the only foundation for a lasting relationship.
Be Positive, Impulsive and Spontaneous
Life is an adventure, so grip it with both hands and be thankful for new experiences. If I had to nominate the biggest single thing that my clients tell me they don’t want, it’s to meet someone who is tired of life and who has lost their sparkle. It’s a cliché, but if you can focus on the positives in life as much as possible, you will be a magnet for other singletons.
Be Open-Minded About Who You Date
So what if he’s two inches shorter than you wanted, or she lives in Melbourne and not Hong Kong; these things are easily overcome when the chemistry is there and values are aligned. With the advent of internet dating, we have become all too used to an algorithmic approach to meeting someone and this is having a huge impact on how relationships are being formed. And not for the better. Falling in love is not a binary process and should not be treated as such.
Trust Your Instincts
Even when there is no explanation. If something or someone doesn’t “feel right,” then walk away. You are better off on your own than with the wrong person—15 years of listening to people who knew on their wedding day that they were marrying the wrong person has taught me that without any hesitation.
This article was printed in the December 2016 issue of Hong Kong Tatler